If you get caught driving drunk in Amarillo, you're going to need deep pockets, a fast internet connection, and a friend at Facebook to keep it quiet.

The Amarillo Police Department has decided to release “The Weekly DUI Report” to Facebook.  An anonymous uncredited source claims the department has lost all faith in the newspaper’s “Police Blotter”.  For most of the last century when one got arrested in Amarillo it was best practice to buy a paper after making bail the next morning, hoping not to find one’s name in the blotter.  Many a domestic violence and DUI went unnoticed after being bumped from the blotter for an armed robbery or SWAT standoff.

Look for the “Weekly DUI Report” Mondays on Facebook.  And unlike the newspaper, they can post 500 drunk drivers if they caught that many.  Unfortunately for them, Kimbrough is in Canyon. Should you find yourself in jail after a night of irresponsible drinking and driving you can expect your name, where you were arrested and date of arrest, plus the specific crimes you are charged with, available to anyone with a Facebook account, following the APD.  This has the side benefit of clearing your memory quickly, if not abruptly.

It is hoped the report will put a face on the problem of drunk driving.  They don’t care if it’s yours.  They do care if you are above the legal limit. And if they have to put you in social media stocks to deter others from drinking and driving, they are going to do it.

The Weekly DUI Report is coming out Monday.

Curious, if no one is arrested will there still be a report?  Would Amarillo get a yellow citizenship star?


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